[Book Review] I Know You Know

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It's a little known fact but I do actually enjoy reading thrillers. If someone manages to combine thrillers with a spot of the supernatural then all the better! I've been reading Helen Howell's blog for some time now, and she posts regular serials and flash fiction. In February, her first adult novella, I Know You Know, was published by Crooked Cat Books, and I decided to pick up a copy - a psychic who uncovers a serial killer? What could be better!

I Know You Know tells the story of Janice, a tarot card reader trying to eke out a quiet existence with the aid of her dead grandmother, who passes on her wisdom as a voice in Janice's ear. Janice encounters the rather odious Edgar Kipp, and during the reading the cards tell her that he's a serial killer. Naturally it's a bit of a curve ball for anyone to deal with, and Janice does her best to disguise what she's learned. Kipp realises she knows more than she's letting on, and so begins a cat and mouse game between them.

Told through a mixture of present tense and flashback, Helen weaves a story that genuinely had me wondering how things were going to turn out. Flashbacks help deepen an understanding of Kipp's psychology, while Janice's relationship with the voice of her grandmother helps to explain Janice's abilities. This could have descended into a police procedural but the police involvement is kept to a minimum, apart from a detective who thinks there might be some substance to Janice's story. Janice is quiet and wants to avoid trouble, but she's likeable in an unobtrusive sort of way - she's not an attention seeker at all, she just wants to get on with her life.

Novellas are always a quick read but I found I Know You Know to be a real page turner, and I really didn't anticipate the ending. The story gets going very quickly, and there could have been a danger that the segments told from Kipp's point of view might have somehow rationalised his actions, or tried to engender sympathy for him. Luckily they're handled in such a way that Kipp never becomes sympathetic - he just becomes more and more detestable.

I really enjoyed I Know You Know, and I'd recommend it if anyone's looking for a quick yet thrilling read.

Four blunt pencils out of five!

Bio: Helen is a fiction writer, who writes in several genres which include fantasy, noir, horror and humour. She has written several short stories, flash fictions and poems. Her work has appeared in both e-zines, anthologies and print publications. In July 2012 her debut novella, Jumping At Shadows, a fantasy fiction for 9 years- adults, was published as an e-book. In February 2013 her novella, I Know You Know, a psychic thriller for adults,  was published by Crooked Cat Publishing. She is a member of Friday Flash Dot Org. and is a regular participant in writing Friday Flash.

You can find I Know You Know at Amazon US, Amazon UK, Crooked Cat Books, or Smashwords.

Review Policy

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You may have noticed that I've reviewed a fair few works of fiction lately. Most of them are by writers that I talk to online, and whose work I want to champion. Sometimes I'll review books by writers I don't know, and sometimes I review books about writing - I'm tricksy like that. Now, I know there are arguments against writing reviews, since a) a bad review could earn a black mark against your name with future publishing companies and other writers and b) you don't want to look like you're just sucking up to the people you know.

That's why I wanted to make it clear that I'll only post a review on my blog if I feel I can award the book four or five blunt pencils - for fiction, I want to help spread the word about enjoyable writing, and for non-fiction, I want to help people find books that may be useful to them.

I also post the reviews on Goodreads and Amazon, which is obviously important for the millions of book buyers who don't read my blog. However I restrict myself to only reviewing the books I like because I want to help promote the writers I know. Besides, why waste my time reviewing a book I didn't enjoy when I could be start to read a new book that I'll love? Obviously, that's not to say that if you're a writer I know and I haven't reviewed your book yet that I don't like it - chances are, I just haven't gotten to it.

Here's a recap of some reviews I've already done, listed in alphabetical order. Treat yourself, and check them out.

Blood Picnic and Other Stories by Tony Noland
From Dark Places by Emma Newman
Jailbait Justice by Danny Hogan
Just My Blood Type by Carrie Clevenger and Nerine Dorman
Must Love Dragons by Monica Marier
The Soulkeepers by G.P.Ching
20th Century Ghosts by Joe Hill

[Review] Just My Blood Type

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Anyone who has been reading my blog (or following me on Twitter) will know that I'm rather partial to a certain Xan Marcelles, the vampiric creation of my good friend, Carrie Clevenger. I'm getting impatient to read the finished Crooked Fang book, so when I heard Xan would be starring in a short story, I couldn't download it fast enough.

Just My Blood Type tells the story of an encounter between the moody Mr Marcelles and romance author Therése von Willegen, the creation of South African writer Nerine Dorman. The story takes it in turns to leap back and forth between Nerine's Therese, and Carrie's Xan, giving us a unique insight into our dual protagonists. The steady banter ups the sexual tension between the pair as they trade innuendo at the Pale Rider bar, in Pinecliffe, Colorado.

Just My Blood Type rattles along at a good pace, letting both characters (and their creators) share the limelight. Therése just takes Xan at face value, something I think our favourite vampire secretly enjoys, while Xan seems genuinely fascinated by this new woman in his life. It's a quick yet highly enjoyable read, and I've always been a fan of Xan so nice to see him in a new piece. At the same time, this is the first piece I've read by Nerine Dorman and based on this, I want to read more. A lot more.

Perfect for fans of Gothic romance, or hard rock vampire fiction, Just My Blood Type is a highly recommended read that serves as both a stellar introduction to two incredibly talented lady writers, and as a lesson in just how good collaborative writing can be. Download it for FREE here.

Five blunt pencils from me!

[Review] The Soulkeepers

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I've known GP Ching for a while after discovering her shorter works through the #FridayFlash phenomenon on Twitter, and I've always found her to be an absolutely lovely person, not to mention incredibly supportive of other writers. When I discovered she was releasing a book, I was naturally excited to read it since I already knew I enjoyed her writing.

The Soulkeepers is the first book in a planned series (book two, Weaving Destiny, is slated for September 2011). The blurb reads thus; The night sexy and mysterious Abigail Silva comes to Jacob Lau's bedroom window, he doesn't believe she's real let alone a supernatural force who lives just across the street. Abigail says she's his Helper sent to train him as a Soulkeeper, a gifted warrior responsible for protecting human souls. But Abigail has secrets, and as Jacob is pulled into her strange world, he learns those secrets could cost him his family, his girlfriend, and even his soul.

It's a really interesting concept, and like nothing I've read before. Jacob seems to be your usual teenager struggling to fit into a new school in a new town after his mother disappears. He has trouble with the "popular crowd" and can't wait to get out of this dull new town that he hates so much. That might seem fairly run of the mill, but not many teenagers begin their books by coming back from the dead. Nor do they see their mothers fighting monsters. Most of all, they're not usually Soulkeepers - Jacob has a mystical bond with, and power over, the element of water. He encounters the local botanist, Dr Silva, who turns out to be a lot more than she appears, and she starts training him up to be able to fulfil his destiny. Along the way, he gets himself a girlfriend in the shape of Malini, a fellow social outcast.

If the word 'soul' gets you thinking that this is probably a bit deeper than your usual "teen with a superpower" fiction, then you'd be right. It's not just about teenagers throwing tantrums and pouting all over the place (are you listening, Bella?) In The Soulkeepers, Jacob encounters questions of faith, both in humanity and in a higher power, and the book really kicks things up a gear when we meet the villains of the piece - the fallen angels. They're a truly nasty bunch, which leads to an amazing setpiece between our hapless heroes and the demons in disguise, but I won't say much more because I don't want to spoil it.

Now, I've always been a sucker for angels (Michael is my favourite, in case you were wondering) but having had a fairly secular upbringing, I'm not overtly keen on religious fiction. However, GP has such a knack for storytelling that The Soulkeepers is a less a story about religion and more a story about finding faith - it doesn't necessarily have to be in a particular deity, even just faith in the universe itself will suffice. Jacob's quest for peace with the Almighty could be substituted for anything - hell, if Dr Silva was two feet tall and green, then Jacob could easily be the young Skywalker.

As far as characters go, GP has created a cool bunch here. Jacob is moody but with good cause, and Malini strikes me as being that quiet, shy kid at school who would actually be a really awesome friend if you bothered to say hi. The relationship between them feels very genuine and unfolds at just the right pace. Dr Silva is completely badass, and I actually found myself warming to her more and more as the book went on. However, favourite character has got to be Gideon - you'll see why.

All in all, I really enjoyed The Soulkeepers, and got so engrossed that I think I read the last quarter of the book in one sitting. I highly recommend it, and I award it five blunt pencils!

You can check out more about the book at its website, www.TheSoulkeepersSeries.com. You can also buy the paperback from Amazon, as well as the Kindle version, and if you have a non-Kindle e-reader, The Soulkeepers is also available from Smashwords!

[Interview] Tony Noland

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I featured my review of Tony Noland's Blood Picnic and other stories anthology back on Tuesday and today is the EXCLUSIVE interview I did with him for the Blunt Pencil. Enjoy!

What made you first pick up a pen and write a story?
I wrote stories as a kid, but it was discouraged. In 2006, after years and years of writing journals and blog posts, I posted a bit of fiction to the blog I had at the time. A reader liked it and challenged me to do NaNoWriMo. I did, successfully. At 50K, it was the first large scale fiction project I’d ever done. After that, I thought, “I can do this.” Of course, only later did I realize that I’d written utter garbage and would have to improve my craft 10,000%, but by then it was too late – I was hooked.

You recently released your Blood Picnic anthology. What prompted your move into the world of self publishing?
I self published “Blood Picnic” for a few reasons. Firstly, while I’ve continued to do my weekly FridayFlash stories, I’ve been working on a novel. It’s been a bit of a slog, and I wanted to put a win on the board to keep my spirits up. Secondly, the novel isn’t done yet, not even close, but in the course of writing it, I have been keeping tabs on the publishing situation in general. Self publishing “Blood Picnic” gave me a chance to see what it takes to organize, edit, format (and re-format and re-re-format…), and market a book by myself. This whole thing was done as a learning exercise so I can make an informed decision about what publishing route to take with my novel(s). Thirdly, I’ve always wanted to do a book cover, and this gave me a chance to indulge my graphic arts side.

You have work in various published anthologies, as well as your own. What are your thoughts on the self-publishing boom compared to the traditional publishing paradigm?
It’s brought a tremendous freedom to writers and readers. In the past, print books with a limited run would be horrifically expensive. Now, e.books that reach out to niche markets can go for the same prices as other e.books. One concern that is coming to the fore is the issue of quality. I don’t mean the quality of the writing. Sturgeon’s Law is still in effect: 90% of self published books are crap, but 90% of everything is crap. There have been plenty of dreadful, schlocky, forgettable books published by traditional means, and some truly excellent ones published by indie presses and by self publishers. The key element that is missing from the self publishing boom is some indicator that the basic requirements of professionalism have been met: decent cover, spelling, grammar, margins, line and page breaks, etc. Recent concerns about spam books clogging Amazon may just be a taste of what’s to come. One possible example for a “seal of quality” is the Premium Catalog at Smashwords. Almost any book can be self published at Smashwords, but only a small subset meets the stricter requirements for the Premium Catalog. I was pleased that “Blood Picnic” made it in the Premium Catalog, not only because it broadened the distribution for the book, but because that’s a high hurdle to clear. It gave me confidence that the mechanicals were taken care of to professional standards.

Blood Picnic covers a range of genres - which would you say is your favourite to write?
I like writing literary fiction. Bloodthirsty demons and magic rings are fun to write about, but human emotions make the very best playthings.

Who would you consider to be your influences, either in terms of style or content?
P.G. Wodehouse made every word count, to great hilarious effect. Stephen King goes right up to the line of what’s acceptable then goes vaulting over it. Jane Austen hinted and suggested. Harry Turtledove starts with an idea and lets the story tell itself. C.S. Forester made his protagonist both sympathetic and infuriating. Isaac Asimov had galactic sweep and vision peppered with humor along the way. Charles Dickens made characters come alive through idiosyncrasies. David Brin knows that alien worlds are only as interesting as the aliens who live there. Richard Rhodes took the technical and made it personal.

Do you have a writing routine?
If I did, I’m sure I’d be more productive.

You also write posts for the Write Anything blog. Would you ever write a "how to" book?
Until I have more published – stories, poems, anthologies, novels - and have significant sales of same, I can’t see myself writing a how-to book. Right now I give my advice away for free. Before charging anyone for a compendium of my wit and wisdom, I would need to be sure that people had a reason to trust my judgment.

Tell us about how you came to the attention of Neil Gaiman.
In January 2011, I wrote a story titled “Where the Hell is Tony’s #FridayFlash?”, which starred Neil Gaiman. It was a funny piece featuring lots of famous writers and celebrities as massive fans of mine: John Scalzi, Wil Wheaton, Susan Orlean, Margaret Atwood, President Barack Obama, etc. They were all desperate to read my next story and were DMing Neil Gaiman, another huge Tony Noland fan, to find out if he knew anything. I wrote the story as a lark, just having wish-fulfillment fun with the idea of these leading figures as uber-fanboi of The Great Tony Noland. Via twitter, the story came to the attention of Neil, with the suggestion that he might take issue with his name and inner thoughts being used so freely. Neil tweeted me to say, “I thought it was really funny. No objections here.” As you can imagine, I was pleased that a) he liked it and b) he didn’t see the need to sue me.

Later, when I was discussing “Blood Picnic” with someone on twitter, I was asked why “Where the Hell…” wasn’t included, since it was one of this reader’s favorites. I noted that it made extensive use of Neil; while he was nice about it all, I didn’t want to push it. He tweeted me again to say, “I wouldn’t have minded. I liked the flash.” (Let me go on record here to say that I want to be as cool as Neil Gaiman when I grow up.) I get a little lift whenever I think of these interactions. Writers go through periods of wondering just how sucky their work is. These serve as a useful benchmark for me, to remind me that people who know good writing from bad can read my work and like it. As it happens, there are other reasons that story wasn’t really right for “Blood Picnic”, and might be tricky to fit into any anthology. Regardless, “Where the Hell…” has a special place in my heart.

What are your three favourite words?
Syzygy, gravitas and yttrium.

Wildcard question - if you were Dr Sam Beckett, which contemporary figure's life would you want to quantum leap into?
President Barack Obama. There is so very, very much more going on behind the scenes that the public doesn’t get to see. All of it is so important and impactful, I would love to get an inside look at it all. Of course, given the way Sam Beckett fumbled his way through those Leaps, I’d probably start a war.

Book info
Blood Picnic and other stories is a mixture of fantasy, horror and literary fiction, priced at $2.99. It’s available for many formats at Smashwords, and in device-specific formats at Amazon, Amazon-UK, Amazon-DE, Barnes & Noble, Sony, Kobo, Diesel Books, and other outlets.

Author info
Tony Noland is a writer, blogger and poet in the suburbs of Philadelphia, PA. He’s active on Twitter as @TonyNoland. Tony’s writing and fiction blog is http://www.TonyNoland.com.

[Review] Blood Picnic and other stories

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If you're part of the Friday Flash phenomenon, then you will no doubt have come across the work of the very talented Tony Noland. If you're not, then his new Blood Picnic and other stories anthology gives you the chance to discover exactly how good he is.

Anthologies are sometimes accused of having a lack of focus, but not so here. Blood Picnic is divided into four "chapters" - Tales of the Heavens, which contains six fantasy stories; Tales of the Earth, which contains eight literary fiction stories; Tales of the Moon, which collects six horror stories; and Tales of the Sun, which includes eight magical realism stories. Indeed, a hallmark of Tony's style is his verstatility, although his "voice" comes through strongly to add coherence to the diversity on display.

My own personal favourites are the superhero tale, Grey Ghost Gone; Straight and True, My Arrow, Fly, in which a pair of lovers discover the difference between love and lust; Aspirations, in which the extent of a young man's insecurities are laid bare; Ridi, Pagliaccio, in which a fading star tells a chilling story; Long Story, in which a desperate man tests the strength of duct tape; and Reconciliation, in which a penitent man tries to rejoin his family. The themes are varied and the endings are both happy and sad, but the strength of storytelling is self-evident, and the stories are clearly the work of a talented writer.

I had the privilege of seeing this anthology in its original form, and it's my absolute pleasure to be able to feature the finished article on my blog. I can't stress enough how enjoyable these stories are, with their intelligent plotting and deft wordplay. Tony has a vivid imagination and a true mastery of the written word, and I guarantee you'll find something to love in this collection.

Blood Picnic is available from Amazon and Smashwords for the princely sum of $2.99. I'll be featuring an interview with Tony on Thursday, so stay tuned!

[Book Review] Jailbait Justice

Tweet When was the last time you read a book that was so fun that you just couldn't stop reading? Well as they say on their website, Pulp Press are "dedicated to providing entertainment and escapism in the form of dime novels, penny dreadfuls and spicy stories that will be accessible to everybody." As a Pulp Press title, Danny Hogan's Jailbait Justice does not disappoint.

Set in a future where an apocalypse has returned Texas to its Old West roots, Jailbait Justice tells the story of gunfighter Jezebel Misery St. Etienne, who mooches around Austin drinking whiskey and killing the unrighteous. She takes a commission to escort a young woman named Alice to Houston where Alice intends to claim the three thousand gold bits left by her father with a local businessman. Of course, this is a pulp novel, so expect prison breaks, shoot outs and even zombies...

Part road trip, part Western, part horror and part thriller, Jailbait Justice starts out at a cracking pace and doesn't let up. Jezebel is a hard-talking, fast-shooting anti-hero, the whiskey-swigging lovechild of Snake Plisskin and Ripley. Danny Hogan piles misfortune on her, leaving you wondering how she's going to get herself out of one bad situation after another. Alice proves a good foil for her, and the mutual respect they end up discovering is a thing of beauty.

Jailbait Justice is incredibly violent AND incredibly fun, and I zipped through it, always wanting to know what happened next. It's a terrific read, and I hereby award it five blunt pencils out of five!

Toy Story 3 - Pixar hit another home run

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I went to see Toy Story 3 last night, and before I went in, I was torn between outright trepidation and child-like excitement. I remember going to see the first one at the cinema when it first came out, and thinking it was one of the best things I'd ever seen, and when the second one was better, Pixar managed to win me over to the idea of sequels. But a third one? In my opinion, only Back to the Future ever managed to make a third film that was as good as the preceding two.

I've already spoken before about exactly why I love Pixar, but Toy Story 3 just proves my point. Yet again, they have concentrated on making a film with a good plot, plenty of adventures, and characters that you care about. Let me say that last part again - they've created characters that you can really root for, or loathe, depending on whether they're good or bad. Pixar delight in telling a good story, and they put this love of storytelling above everything else. It's good, old-fashioned escapism. They also make damn good short films, and the Day & Night short that accompanies Toy Story 3 really explores the boundaries of animation.

The Toy Story films have always been films that celebrate the power of imagination, and the wonderful worlds you can create with a handful of toys, cardboard boxes and household detritus. As a writer, this is a concept I can back 120% (meaning I could backtrack 20%, and still be completely behind it). But as a 27-year-old who has problems with the concept of 'growing up', it really speaks to me on a different level. I was the kid who didn't have any friends where I lived, and would spend hours playing with different toys by myself. They were mostly my brother's, as I favoured Lego and Micro Machines, but I also had an awesome toy farm that my dad built for me, and more stuffed animals than I knew what to do with (I am the extremely proud owner of a full set of Gummy Bears).

I freely admit that I still have a fierce attachment to a lot of my animals now. Nowadays I just collect them, getting a new one whenever I go somewhere new (and people bring them back as souvenirs for me, so my friend Mark brought me a toy Kiwi from New Zealand), but a lot of those stuffed bears and dogs mean a lot to me. In the aftermath of break-ups, or redundancy, or difficulties in social interactions, my toys were still there. The photo illustrating this post is of Aston, a cuddly dog I got in Hamley's a few years back. So where adults, particularly parents, were upset by Toy Story 3 for the concept of children growing up, and leaving home, I was more upset by the idea that you could outgrow your toys. Sure, I don't play with mine any more, but they're still there. One scene near the end even had me in tears - and I'm such a hard-hearted bitch, the last film that made me cry was probably Bambi. For Pixar to wring such emotion out of an essentially cold person is incredibly impressive, and to do so in such a mature way, using simply facial expressions on animated toys...other filmmakers need to study their methods, they really do.

In essence, I only have two problems with Toy Story 3. The first is that it made me cry - I don't like it when films make me do that, because it reminds me I have emotions and therefore vulnerabilities. The second is that there just wasn't enough Timothy Dalton! Honestly, I could listen to that guy all day. Still, there's plenty of the delightful Michael Keaton to keep me happy, who is so perfectly cast as Ken that all the other studios that make celebrity-stuffed CG suckfests should sit up and pay attention - i.e. do not cast a celebrity for their status, cast them because their voice suits the role.

I realise I haven't discussed the plot or the characters, but to be honest, I'd rather you just went to see it. Please, for my sake. Go and enjoy the stunning visuals, the sparky dialogue, the bonds between the characters, and the genuine heartfelt passion for storytelling. Then come home, fish out a childhood toy, and remember how you felt when you were little, when anything was possible in your imagination. If you think carefully, maybe it still is...

Icy disses The Collector - Vlog 02

Tweet Having enjoyed recording my first vlog entry, I thought I'd do another one. Where I did comics in 01, I'm now doing films - specifically The Collector.

Enjoy!

The Killer Inside Me - A Review, Not A Confession

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I'm not entirely sure why, but I've wanted to see The Killer Inside Me for a few weeks now. I saw it had garnered a few decent reviews, and seeing as how serial killer films are something of a specialty for me (my undergraduate dissertation compared three of Hitchcock's serial killers with that of contemporary cinema), I like to see them when I can. The only problem is, having forced myself to sit through a hundred and nine minutes of dross, all I want to do is hurl more than harsh language at Hollywood.

There are a myriad of ways to approach the serial killer film. You've got your slashers (or post-slasher...or even neo-slasher), your exploitation flicks, your psychoanalytical films...amazingly, The Killer Inside Me fails on every count. Even a Eurovision voting card for the UK gets more points than this. Casey Affleck's poor imitation of an upstanding Texas gent grates at every turn, and any film that stars both Kate Hudson AND Jessica Alba should already be on my avoid list. Why? Well they're two actresses who are to serious acting what a cheese grater is to a balloon.

The Killer Inside Me, for those of you who might vaguely care (and I pray you don't), is set in the 1950s, in a small west Texas town. Casey Affleck plays Lou Ford, the unassuming deputy sheriff. Generically Southern and almost instantly forgettable, Ford has no sooner started batting those baby blues of his, than he's visiting the local prostitute, Joyce (Alba) and beating her up. Most women would go, "Er, excuse me, get out of my house, you filthy arsehole" after being violently assaulted, but not Joyce. They embark on an illicit affair, with Joyce (almost painfully predictably) putting pressure on Lou to leave town with her. Elmer, the son of a wealthy local construction tycoon, is in love with Joyce, and when his father offers to pay Joyce off, they initially plan to steal the money and go. Lou decides he'd be better off killing both of them, and just continuing about his business. Why? Because he's "crazy". Cue the eye rolling. Apparently, doing something for no logical reason constitutes madness. If Spock's reaction is anything to go by, then Captain Kirk must be the biggest psychopath in pop culture.

But I digress. Things go slightly awry, and Lou finds himself killing people to cover up the fact that he's killing people. Trouble is, that's actually logical in a freaky kind of way, which just proves that Lou isn't as mad as he thinks he is. With the local DA Howard Hendricks (Simon Baker, better known as TV's The Mentalist) breathing down his neck, Lou starts to unravel. Or does he? Well no, not really. He just gets even more dull. Director Michael Winterbottom seems be aiming for the kind of 'quietly understated' pace that gets described as 'magnetic' or 'powerful', only to have it end up 'dull' and 'unappealing'. The film coasts along to its inevitable conclusion, and by the time they reach the 'dramatic finale', you'll be left wondering who got turned down for the role for Casey Affleck to end up with it. Winterbottom meanders along, punctuating the boredom with tedious scenes of women being beaten up. Given we never see Lou's violence towards males, one can't help wondering if this says more about the director than his main character.

Having the serial killer himself narrate the film is nothing new. I'd argue that the best example is still American Psycho, in the way Mary Harron manages to blend graphic violence with understated menace. You couldn't make the film without Patrick Bateman's narration. His inner monologues about business cards, hair cuts and skincare routines underscore the senseless nature of his savagery, contrasting his superficial obsession with his total lack of human emotion (except, as he admits himself, for 'greed, envy and disgust'). This link between the killer and the audience was originally intended to be a way of forcing us to rethink cinematic boundaries, although now it has become a 'controversial' tactic aimed at putting the viewer inside the serial killer's world, forcing a collusion with him. The problem is, this will never be anywhere near as shocking as the POV shots in Peeping Tom, and that came out in 1959!

As it stands, serial killers may be attractive (Patrick Bateman), charming (Hannibal Lecter), unknowable (Michael Myers) or even funny (Freddie Krueger) but they CANNOT be dull. Unfortunately, Lou Ford is exactly that. I have a feeling Affleck is aiming for 'the boy next door gone bad', but no one will ever be able to nail that quite as well as one of cinema's most iconic serial killers - Norman Bates. We didn't need any narration, or POV shots. We just needed those subtle facial tics, that nervous behaviour around Marion, his calm appearance in the aftermath of the murders - and the final reveal. Nothing fancy, just solid storytelling.

I conclude this rant/review with one very simple thought. If you really want to watch a serial killer movie that is both well-made and quietly understated, you could do no better than seeking out Mr Brooks. Ignore the fact it stars Kevin Costner - it's everything The Killer Inside Me wishes it was, but sorely isn't.

The Final Destination

Tweet So I'm back from the cinema again. A friend and I originally intended to see Dorian Gray (despite the fact that The Picture of Dorian Gray is my favourite book and it shall no doubt have been utterly butchered in its translation to the big screen) but it wasn't on at either of the Cineworlds in the West End so we went to see Final Destination 3D instead.

Now, for those unfamiliar with the franchise, each film essentially begins with a big disaster sequence, which is in fact a premonition had by one of the characters. Their subsequent freak out leads several people who should have expired in said disaster to avoid their impending doom, although Death then stalks throughout the rest of the plot, offing them in the order they should have died in increasingly implausible and ridiculous ways. Its fundamental message is that you just can't cheat Death...though one would wonder why on earth one of them would have the premonition, and then the subsequent visions which hold clues to how each of the survivors will die, if they were just going to die anyway. Does the Grim Reaper get a bit bored with his/her endlessly mundane task, and seek ways to spice things up a bit? I'm surprised - humans can usually think of enough inventive and creative ways to kill each other, without Death having to step in and start squashing people with plate glass or garotting them with a shower cord.

Anyway. The film wasn't entirely bad, even if it was entirely formulaic, but it did feel a tad too much like an extended health & safety video. The moral of the story is...always store your tools safely, don't leave containers of flammable liquid open and near anything which could cause them to topple, look both ways before you cross the street, and basically watch what you're doing. There. Now you don't need to see it, and I've probably ruined business for all of those godawful companies that get you compensation when you've done something idiotic at work.

Becoming A Writer

Tweet I finally finished reading Dorothea Brande's seminal text on creative writing last night. Becoming A Writer was first published in the 1930s, yet the wisdom contained within is still just as relevant today. Most writing texts concern themselves with the mechanics of writing - grammar, character, dialogue, setting etc. While these elements are clearly important, being able to implement them can only occur in the first place if you've managed to establish a set routine, and flicked that switch in your brain that allows you to write whenever, wherever. Essentially, this book is intended to help flick that switch. Brande is more concerned with the personality problems of the fledgling writer than the technical errors and it is these which she seeks to help the writer to overcome.

The language is a little old-fashioned and her insistence that the author is always referred to as 'he' is a tad annoying but considering the age of the text, it's still an immensely readable, useful book that prompts the writer into doing exactly what they do best - write.

Public Enemies

Tweet So I went to see Public Enemies last night. I had high hopes; after all, I've yet to see a Johnny Depp film I didn't enjoy (in my universe, the two Pirates sequels don't exist). Oh, Hollywood, how you continue to let me down. Was it not enough that you buried the Indiana Jones franchise last year? You didn't twist the knife with all the "hilarious" family sequences in Transformers 2?

Kudos to them for the casting of Depp as bank robber John Dillinger. I don't know much about the man in real life, but Depp portrayed him as a charming Robin Hood type, robbing banks but never their customers, ever mindful of his adoring public. Unlike his somewhat violent and thuggish associates, Dillinger would prefer to use the fear engendered by his various machine guns and pistols, as opposed to the bullets they fire.

But exactly what was Michael Mann thinking in casting Christian "I haven't opened my mouth properly to speak since 1999" Bale as Melvin Purvis? I used to simply adore Bale back in his American Psycho days, but since then, he's lost some of his sheen. The fact he seems to play the same character over and over doesn't help, and in this case, it feels like he's reprising his 3:10 to Yuma role, in which he was out-classed and out-acted by Russell Crowe (there's a sentence I never thought I'd find myself typing). In that film, he played the reluctant lawman escorting Crowe to prison, while in this film, he plays a reluctant agent in the fledgling FBI attempting to get Dillinger into prison. In both cases, his co-stars outshone him in every way, portraying their criminal characters as lovable rogues. Bale, on the other hand, portrays his with all the charisma of a mouldy Stilton.

My other two problems were the clunky narrative (please, leave the 'skipping about with little exposition to explain what's going on' to Quentin Tarantino) and the constant shaky cam. It does not make a film feel more realistic - if I were running in real life, my brain would automatically compensate for the fact that the world around me would appear to be jumping about. In a film, this doesn't happen, so instead it simply looks like you dropped a film camera into the monkey enclosure at London Zoo and asked them to tape something.

And it's so long. My right knee actually seized solid with the herculean effort of sitting still for all that time. I mightn't have minded if I'd enjoyed it, but all I could think was "Nice to see Depp taking on a proper role, instead of his 'Woohoo, look at me, I'm CRAZY!' casting of late, but pity about everyone else"...