Social interaction needs more than social media

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A couple of days ago, I posted a link on my various social media pages to this particular article, in which it is posited that social media is actually making us lonely. Author Jessica Hazel points out that "we tirelessly tweet and update alone from our bedrooms and offices whilst feeling that we are acting in an accessible and sociable manner", and even goes so far as to state that "the reality is that Facebook often just makes you feel like everyone is having an amazing time all the time apart from little sad you". I mostly agree with the points she raises, although when she discusses the fact that it's easier to feel lonely when you're sat at home and your news feed is full of all the exciting things everyone else is doing, she also neglects to mention that the people who are out having fun may feel the same way when they're at home and you're out. She also doesn't discuss the peculiar phenomenon that even when you are out socially with other people, most people are still glued to social media. I can't count the number of times I've been sitting talking to someone while they've been scrolling through Facebook or Twitter. How often does the shout go up of "Well THAT'S going on Facebook?" whenever we say something we feel is so funny or insightful that it must be shared with the wider group?

For me, social media is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it makes it much easier (and cheaper) to connect with people in far flung places. I can't just head down to my local Costa with Nerine Dorman or Carrie Clevenger so until I can, I have email to keep us together. If it wasn't for social media, I wouldn't have 'met' one of my most trusted beta readers, Rob Diaz. I wouldn't be involved in all the publishing things I've done, or am doing. It also makes organising things easier as you can contact several people at once to arrange an outing or a meet up, and keep everyone in the loop as to what's going on. Social media lets us be social with anyone we want to talk to. On the other hand, it is very easy for me to sit at home, looking at all the fun and amazing things other people are doing, while I'm sat on the sofa watching yet another poor attempt at a horror film, while I wonder why no one thought to invite me. I actually miss calling people to ask how they're getting on, and to have a catch up. It's easy to feel such interactions are pointless since I can keep up with their lives online. Why would I phone someone when I can just nip onto Facebook to see what they're up to?

I think we need to have a balance. I went to the pub last night with the very talented Tony Bengtsson (I interviewed him last year and his music is here - go and have a listen) and I only felt compelled to check my phone about three times. Conversation flowed, ideas were exchanged, and it was a good night of discussion and social interaction. If it were The Sims, those social points would have been racking up in a way they just don't do if you're only talking to someone through Facebook Messenger. You can add all the emoticons you want, and pepper your text with 'lol' but no text-based dialogue can truly replace a proper conversation, with all of the unconscious body language and vocal intonations. It's especially valuable for writers - we need that social interaction for story fodder, and for character ideas. It's the little personality quirks that you only see in person that bring characters to life.

So I say use social media, get to know people on the other side of the world, but don't focus on it at the expense of social interactions in your immediate vicinity.

In cyberspace, no one can hear you scream

Tweet Twitter went down for a while yesterday. Apparently, it suffered a "denial-of-service attack". Essentially, too many people were directed to the site at the same time, which stopped those actually wanting to use the site from logging on. I can honestly say that as much as I enjoy using Twitter to pass the time, the very fact that it was offline for a few hours didn't bother me in the slightest. I wish that I had so little on my mind that I could be devastated at the loss of a social networking site. There is even a trending topic on Twitter today, #whentwitterwasdown. I couldn't resist adding my own thoughts - "I simply got on with my life. I just didn't tell anyone about it."

Reading the answers of others, they range from people being unaware that Twitter was down, to people assuming they must have a problem with their Internet, to people simply not caring, to people feeling isolated or lonely that they could no longer connect through the Internet. I can relate to the first and third groups, as there is plenty that can be done that doesn't involve Twitter. Work, for example. One user tweeted that she hadn't realised Twitter was down because she was spending time with friends in the real world. Another tweeted that she spent the time catching up on reading blogs. Someone else started combing Amazon for bargains.

As for the second group, I find it slightly worrying that users place so much faith in the power of a social networking site that they believe that the Internet itself must be having problems, rather than accepting an individual site may be plagued by technical gremlins. It reminds me of the time Google went down, and people began predicting that Google being offline would be the death of the net.

As for the fourth group...I truly hope that those who tweeted about suffering withdrawal symptoms are being sarcastic or facetious. I find it slightly worrying that people have become so addicted to being able to constantly tell people every little thing that pops into their heads. It's like digital Tourettes. Twitettes, perhaps? So you couldn't publicise the minutiae of your life for a couple of hours...big deal! What did you do before Twitter came along? You probably picked up the phone and talked to someone that you actually know, out there in the real world. Yes, I know the world is big, and scary, and often a harsh environment, but it's real. It's concrete. It actually exists. You can have proper relationships with people, and actually enjoy the company of a real human being.

I know some people use Twitter as part of their work and naturally, its absence must have been frustrating, but no more than if you'd had a power cut and couldn't get online in the first place. Technology will always have its ups and downs and you have to learn to roll with the punches. Use the time you'd normally spend on Twitter doing something else. Maybe you'll find a more productive way to do something. Learn to see the world slightly differently, instead of through Twitter-shaped spectacles.

In cyberspace, no one can hear you scream. Unless, of course, you feel compelled to tweet the fact that you're screaming, in which case it's akin to running into a room filled with people and shouting "I am screaming!" before running back out again.