Friday, 6 July 2012

#FridayFlash - Population, One


Bobby Giles sat in his rocking chair behind the counter at the Axford Drive ‘n’ Dine. He glanced over his newspaper at the clock – only twenty minutes until closing time.

The bell over the door jangled and a gust of cold wind ruffled the newspapers in the rack. Bobby wrapped his gnarled hands around the arms of the chair and heaved himself upright. A stranger stood on the door mat, brushing stray snowflakes from a battered trilby hat. Bobby’s practiced eye took in the three-piece pinstripe suit and pocket watch beneath the black overcoat, and raised an eyebrow.

“Good evening, sir. Don’t trouble yourself, I shan’t be long.” The stranger smiled at Bobby.

“No problem. You take as long as you need.”

Bobby leaned against the counter. The stranger ignored the almost-empty sandwich fridge and headed towards the drinks section. He chose a bottle of lemon-flavoured sparkling water and strode towards Bobby.

“I think this shall be all. How much do I owe you?”

“That’ll be two bucks fifty.”

The stranger handed over the money, the leather of his gloves creaking in the quiet room. He nodded towards the ancient television set behind the counter.

“I suppose you mustn’t get the best signal out here,” he said.

“Naw, it ain’t great. But it’s somethin’ to look at,” replied Bobby.

“It must get awfully quiet.”

The young man looked out of the window at the desolate plains beyond the parking lot. Bobby frowned slightly. It wasn’t just the clipped English accent, or the old-fashioned clothes. There was something sad about him, too. Bobby hobbled back to his rocking chair and lowered himself into his small nest of cushions.

“Well I get a couple of hundred visitors a day come summer. Everybody wants to see Axford, population of one. The photo of the damn sign is all over the Internet. Plus there ain’t a lot of decent gas stations around here, certainly not those that sell food too, so they swing by and I chat to ‘em where I can. It’s quieter come winter but I like the peace.”

“You don’t ever think you might like to move? Closer to family, perhaps?” The stranger fiddled with the cap on the bottle of water.

“I ain’t got none. My wife was the last, and she passed four years back. Naw, don’t you worry about me, young fella, I got all the company I need.” Bobby smiled. I don’t want him feelin’ sorry for me.

“I’m glad you’re so content. Tell me, when did this place cease to be a diner?”

“Aw, that must’ve been ten years back, when we had population forty. When folk started driftin’ away, I turned the diner into a convenience store. The name just kinda stuck though.”

“I think names may be the stickiest of all things in the world,” said the stranger.

He smirked, as if remembering the punchline to some obscure joke. Bobby smiled too, although he couldn’t help noticing that the parking lot was empty – and the nearest town was an hour’s walk away.

“Say, son –”

“I apologise in advance, and this may be a morbid question, but who will change the sign when you’re not around any longer?”

Bobby looked at the stranger and laughed, reminded of a joke about the last man on earth and a ringing telephone. The stranger stared back, that same mild, impassive expression on his face. An oddly comforting winter swirled in his grey eyes. The laughter died in Bobby’s throat.

"What did you say your name was?"

"I didn't."

The stranger raised his bottle of water in a silent toast, and turned away from the counter. Behind it, Bobby sat in his rocking chair, eyes closed and a slight smile on his face.

You would swear he was sleeping, thought the stranger.

He opened the door, silencing the jangling bell with a single look. He put his trilby back on, adjusting it to the slight angle he preferred, and crossed the parking lot. The town sign stood beyond the fence beside the deserted highway. The stranger stretched out his hand to cross out the ‘1’, before drawing a zero with his finger.

The man in the pinstripe suit looked back to the Drive ‘n’ Dine. An old man stood at the window and raised his hand in a wave. The stranger nodded, and the old man dissolved into thin air. Satisfied at a job well done, the stranger fetched the scythe from its hiding place among the long grass. He drew a line in the air, parted the fabric of the universe, and walked into infinity.

Monday, 2 July 2012

Photo Prompt 92

New prompt available!

If you want to use the prompt, all I ask is that you include a link to this entry and a credit to me for the photograph, and that you post a link to your story in the comments box below so I can see what you've come up with! If you don't comment on this entry, then I can't comment on your story.

The 92nd prompt is Giant's Table.


All photo prompts are my own photography - you can find more of it on Flickr. You can also buy my prints from Deviantart. 20% of all proceeds go to charity - the other 80% go towards my PhD fees!

Friday, 29 June 2012

#FridayFlash - To Boldly Go


The Captain sat at the desk in his quarters. He held his head in his hands, fingers raked into dark blond hair. Other men his age envied such thick, luxurious hair, but they didn’t have the technological advances of Starfleet at their disposal.

The doors slid open with a hiss and a familiar figure strode into the room. The lights adjusted their hue to better display the blue of his uniform. He stood to an awkward attention near the desk, troubled by the stiffness in his hip.

“I was told you were in your quarters, Captain.”

“And here you find me.” The Captain looked up, brushing his hair back into place.

“You have been in your quarters for some time. If you are unwell, I can call the medical bay –”

“I’m not unwell. I’m just a little preoccupied.”

The newcomer raised a pointed eyebrow.

“What troubles you, Captain?”

The Captain sat up and pushed his chair away from his desk. He gestured to the screen, and the science officer peered at the documentation on display.

“Requests for child support, Captain?”

“Yes. You see, Spock, it looks like boldly going where no man has gone before is an expensive enterprise,” replied the Captain. He snorted.

“And what are you going to do about it?”

“Pay them. What else can I do? I just don’t know how the Federation will react when they find out. We were on an exploratory mission…not a colonisation expedition.”

The Captain leaned forward and swiped his finger across the screen. His signature appeared at the bottom of the authorisation order for payment of the requested child maintenance. He gazed at his name. James Tiberius Kirk…father of at least nine declared offspring.

“Hell, maybe I can start a new Starfleet of my own,” said the Captain.

He pressed ‘Send’.

Image is Starfield by AlphaSpace.

Wednesday, 27 June 2012

Harry Potter Hits Fifteen


I came across this post on The Guardian and I have to admit, it's hard to believe that the Harry Potter series is fifteen years old. The Philosopher's Stone was published way back in 1997, although I didn't get around to reading it until 2001, by which point JK Rowling was already onto The Goblet of Fire. I remember buying TPS in one of HMV's two for £10 offers, along with, of all things, The Exorcist. I took it on holiday to Spain with me - that holiday saw me read The Graduate in a week, and The Exorcist in two days (I always did like to vary my reading material). As it happened, I didn't like TPS at first. I found it difficult to get into. But I tried again when I returned home and found I enjoyed it - so much so that I whizzed through The Chamber of Secrets in a day and a half, and the following two books in quick succession.

I was extremely disappointed by The Order of the Phoenix, and I trudged through The Half Blood Prince. By this point, I think I'd forgotten a lot of the details that comprised the story arcs, and I was so bored by the tedious teen romance subplots that I didn't even finish The Deathly Hallows. Still, credit where credit is due - Rowling should be recognised as a master world builder, and she's truly created an awe-inspiring universe. She's gotten kids interested in reading, pissed off Church leaders (always a plus - come on, there's plenty of magic in the Bible, so why not in fiction?), she's a successful female author and she's introduced the world to the boy wonder that is Daniel Radcliffe.

I tip my extravagant Cavalier hat to you, Ms Rowling. You've been a real inspiration.

What about you? What was your favourite Potter adventure?

Tuesday, 26 June 2012

Roald Dahl was a Dude

If you ever needed proof that Roald Dahl was a total dude, here it is. In 1989, a seven-year-old named Amy wrote to the author to send him a present - in this case, a bottle containing a mixture of oil, coloured water and glitter; in other words, one of her dreams. Dahl could have totally ignored the reference to The BFG, but he didn't, he chose to send back this charming letter.


You can now find Amy on Twitter here. Dahl, you were a true dude, sir.

Letter courtesy of Letters of Note.

The end of 15 Habits

And so we come to the end of the 15 Habits of Great Writers series that I've been following. This is my final update, and general review of the series.

Day Twelve (Wednesday) was all about provocation, and Jeff's challenge was to "Write something provocative and stand by it. ... Write something bold, something that moves us. Then share it." I decided against that for two reasons. Having spent my academic career studying both art and film, art which is made intentionally provocative often falls flat because it a) devotes more attention to its theme or purpose than it does to its actually construction, and b) it can be so blinkered in its mission to provoke a reaction that it fails to consider viewpoints other than its own. Jeff seemed to think that it would be somehow liberating, both for ourselves and others, to "tell the truth", but I can't help thinking that given truth is entirely subjective, it would be better for me to be true to myself as an artist in order to tell my own truth. One of his ideas was for us to "Pick a fight with something that’s wrong with the world" and this is mine - you cannot go around banging a drum about your own personal annoyances and expect to shake people up to the extent that they come around to your way of thinking. You can shout as loud as you want, but people will become deaf to what you say. Instead, reasoned argument, based on empirical evidence and logic, is more likely to get a result. If I shout at you, you can stop listening, but if I provide a logical, structured set of reasons as to why you might want to change your mind, you're more likely to be persuaded. So no, I will not be writing something to be provocative unless it is important to the piece that it provoke.

Day Thirteen (Thursday) was around the idea of publishing. As always, Jeff recommends we get off our bums and "publish something. Anything, really. Whatever you do, don’t play it safe. Go for broke. Stop hiding and start writing for real". Pretty sure this was his advice earlier in the series and I said the same thing then that I'm going to say now - I am NOT going to put something out there until I'm sure it's ready. At one point he says "That eBook you’ve been stalling to finish? It’s good enough. Put it out there". Er, no. It's advice like this that leads to writers bashing out a novella, getting their partner/mother/dog to proofread it, and then sticking it on Amazon the next day, and wondering why self-publishing gets a bad rap. Work is released when it's excellent, not just "good enough". Jesus, why am I listening to this man?

Day Fourteen (Friday) was all about branding. Choose a name, choose an image, etc. etc. Again, I'm not entirely sure I agree with Jeff when he says that those people who say "Do I have to do marketing?" are actually saying their story is strong enough to stand up without promotion. Most people who shy away from marketing do so not through arrogance, but through a lack of confidence, or through simply not knowing HOW to market. I've seen writers claim they don't like shouting about their books from the rooftops when in actual fact, that's ALL they do on Twitter. Writers are writers, not marketing consultants, but these days, we do need an awareness of how marketing works - no one else is going to sell our work. However, I can't help thinking that branding is something you should start thinking about once you have work to make available...not when you're just starting out. You don't want to get distracted about how to sell your work if there is no work to sell.

Day Fifteen (Monday) was about serving the writing community, with an emphasis being on giving to others, and responding to their needs by giving them something they want or need. Jeff recommended that we do give aways, conduct a survey to find out what people actually want, write about something important and then give it away, or to continue to answer all correspondence. I'm a big fan of availability, and I've been making a concerted effort of late to reply to tweets, to have conversations on Facebook, and to get discussions going on my blog. This isn't all about me - this is about dialogue, and I genuinely enjoy chatting to people. As to responding to the needs of readers, I'm hoping that people read my stuff because they enjoy it, in which case I'm serving their need for entertainment. Is that the case?

Overall, I'm not entirely sure that the series has been overly helpful to me. All it's really done is say "Yes, you're on the right track, keep doing what you're doing." Perhaps it would help newcomers, or those writers just beginning to test their wings, although I'd still urge caution when it comes to sharing work, especially on Amazon etc. Put out a quality product...and you can't really go wrong.

Monday, 25 June 2012

Photo Prompt 91

New prompt available!

If you want to use the prompt, all I ask is that you include a link to this entry and a credit to me for the photograph, and that you post a link to your story in the comments box below so I can see what you've come up with! If you don't comment on this entry, then I can't comment on your story.

The 91st prompt is Piper.

Pay The Piper

All photo prompts are my own photography - you can find more of it on Flickr. You can also buy my prints from Deviantart. 20% of all proceeds go to charity - the other 80% go towards my PhD fees!