She sits on the edge of the bed, pulling her knees up to her chin. The shadow shakes itself free from her bare feet and stretches. Its talons rake across the stains and tears of the carpet. Serena watches the shadow slide across the room and under the motel room door.
It will return before dawn and she will wake with blood on her hands.
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20 comments:
Nice and creepy. I like it.
That is a master flash (didn't Stevie Wonder sing about them? lol) Anyway, that was brilliant, short but powerful.
A great concept, Icy. Nice and creepy too! Love it.
Ooooooh, so *that's* why Peter Plan freaked when his shadow ran away! *shiver*
And I agree, masterfully done!
Very atmospheric!
When does she fall asleep? If I knew my shadow was out killing people, I'd have a hard time drifting off.
Weird and creepy.
Whoa, agreed with Tony that it's creepy. Got to glue that shadow on with soap...
glue won't work with this shadow. I'd take the Peter Pan approach and sew it on.
Very creepy. Well done.
Ooooh, this is gonna get even more interesting when the cops show up.
"Honestly officer, it was the shadow wot dunnit!!"
Perfect last line that gives new meaning to the previous lines. I like this concept and would enjoy seeing a longer exploration.
Definitely would like to see this played out a bit more. Leaves one wanting to know whether the shadow is her or something else entirely. Great use of description.
Creepy and vivid!!
Tim - I'm glad!
Alannah - Sometimes you need to keep things short to retain their impact.
Jack - You know how much I enjoy freaking people out.
Cathy - Hehe, could be!
Fayne - Thanks!
Tony - I'm in a weird and creepy mood these days.
John - I don't know why she doesn't just go with it!
Michael - Thanks!
Steve - But would a shadow leave fingerprints?
Aidan & Carrie - Maybe I'll revisit it. I don't know. I'll have to see how morose I get!
Erik - Glad you liked it!
Killer! Funny, @EmApocalytic just did a runaway shadow story too, but this one packed a punch! Or claws. Love it… and I wouldn't mind seeing more of this myself.
Larry - Yeah, I gave her the prompt for that story.
Wonderfully short creepy story -- that shadow must be reined in -- sewn or glued or blasted by strobe lights!
Oh creepy! You set up great visuals with your writing, that puts us right in the motel room with her.
Ergh. *shudder* Really creepy. Great atmosphere, Icy.
I've stayed in a motel like that once.. This is very atmospheric and very chilling.. The thought of something coming under the door taps right into the part of the brain that screams SCARY!!!!
Fab
Great description. I know exactly which hotel and which carpet that reminds me of (no bloodied hands, but the insects made up for it).
I wonder how many times this has happened before, though? It it were every nightfall Serena's shadow would have an awfully high body count.
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