Friday, 30 September 2011

Friday Flash - A Change

Bare feet skip along a woodland path. Sunlight peeks through the tree branches overhead. It dances on blonde hair, streaming behind the young woman. She whistles a cheerful melody as she skips. A young deer streaks through the trees, and she calls out a greeting. The deer pauses, snorts a reply, and disappears into the undergrowth.

The young woman passes an ancient oak. A sudden chill in the air forces a break in her melody. She stumbles in her skipping, a shiver running across her golden skin. The woman glances around. She feels a gaze but sees no one, and heads away down the path, skipping perhaps a little faster now.

The man steps from behind the oak. Fragments of his mossy frock coat fall away in his wake. A solitary orange leaf lies in the middle of the path. The man stoops, and picks up the stem between his bony fingers. He lifts the leaf to his nose, and inhales the scent of decay.

The man gazes along the path, and smiles at the retreating Summer.

21 comments:

Tim VanSant Writes said...

And what a beautiful change it is. You describe it so well it gave me a nice little grin.

flyingscribbler said...

We don't often get reflective pieces from you Icy; this was rather lovely. Although considering Summer's last burst today, I reckon old Winter has had to creep back behind his tree.

Laurita said...

Lovely personification of the seasons. I like how you described the Autumn.

Tony Noland said...

Great encapsulation of the annual baton passing.

Bill Dowis said...

Incredible story. I love the sense I got when he stepped out on the path and smelled the leaf... creepy and beautiful all at the same time.

FARfetched said...

Great metaphorical piece here!

John Pender said...

Nice Job Icy. Great visualization.

John Wiswell said...

My favorite time of year! I figured for sure when you started on sunshine that the girl was doomed. Lucky for her she only stumbled.

The scent of decay can be so calming.

Emilia Quill said...

So beautiful and serene. Love how you've described summer and autumn and how they're so different.

"Fragments of his mossy frock coat fall away in his wake"

My favorite sentence, love the image of a mossy frock coat.

storytreasury said...

Beautiful personification of summer! Like this line best: Fragments of his mossy frock coat fall away in his wake

Helen said...

A nice description of Summer passing and Autumn moving in...

helen-scribbles

Stephen said...

Ah the nice smell of autumn leaves are in the air. Growing up in the northern part of America, we used to burn the leaves in the fall. Your story reminded me of how good they smelled. Thanks for sharing it.

Craig Smith said...

I really felt the sense of longing in this. Nicely done Icy :).

It makes me think the man might be Old Man Winter?

Timothy P. Remp said...

Wow.. nice take on the changing seasons.

-Tim

Carrie Clevenger said...

Beautiful. This took me by surprise!

Steve Green said...

A lovely piece of writing.

Icy Sedgwick said...

I'm glad everyone has liked this. The rather scruffy Lord Autumn has been on mind of late and I thought I'd finally do something with him.

aweeadventure said...

For such a short piece that really packed a punch. I genuinely felt warm and merry at the start then chillier as we progressed. Great stuff.

Stephen said...

Hi there Icy -- very good. 'Tis the season for tales such as this. Liked the reorganization in my head as I realised who they were. St.

brainhaze said...

Lovely imagery Icy - a change indeed, for the author and the seasons :)
Great work

afullnessinbrevity said...

Beautiful mythology and poetic prose. In the Antipodes we are following the dancing maiden of Summer heading towards the end of the year.
Adam B @revhappiness

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