This story has been taken down as it is now out for submission!
Friday 5 November 2010
Friday Flash - The Promise
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Labels:
creative writing,
flash fiction,
friday flash,
horror,
voodoo
Writer of Westerns and supernatural chillers. Keen crafter. Constant super villain.
21 comments:
oooh voodoo in suburbia. Nice. Points up a difference in men and women I feel...
marc nash
Well, he had fair warning so he's no-one to blame but himself. I rather like Rosie, and that last sentence is a cracker!
He totally got what he deserved! Bastard. Voodoo like you do, this was fun.
Who do hoodoo like you do? Not too many people. Enjoyed this, would loved to have seen Fiona's reaction to her cousin's deeds.
Marc - Hadn't done voodoo before so I thought I'd give it a go.
Sam - Exactly! Mitchell brings it all on himself by being a dick.
Carrie - I was going to do a photo to go with it but didn't want to put pins in any of my toys.
Paul - I doubt Fiona would have been impressed but Rosie would have no doubt "dealt with" that situation too...
This was sweeeeet! Rosie is my kind of hero.
Rosie rocks! I know that Fiona would rather have Mitchell than his fortune but, still . . .
Wish I had a cousin like Rosie. :D
Oh this is fun Icy! So glad Mitchell got what was coming to him. Very well told story.
Damn, this completely cements that old advice about checking on what kind of in-laws you're marrying into.
Nice one.
Very cool story! Creepy. You certainly don't want to mess with voodoo. Loved the last paragraph.
Ah, yes, Rosie is splendid. Everyone needs a Rosie in their corner.
What a great story, Icy. Thoroughly loved it!
I chuckled at the final line. That's a really good one, Icy. Go Rosie!
Well wikkid.
Loved the set up at the wedding with all the kissing and hand shaking, being able to slip in the subtle threat as a joke.
And I agree that the last line is a cracker.
Adam B @revhappiness
Excellent. One must keep one's promises.
I like the way you end the wedding scene with the realization that this isn't an empty threat and the story keeps it's promise by visiting Michell with what he deserves.
Nice retribution tale Icy, I had a feeling it wasn't just an empty threat. :)
The next time a woman ruffles my hair, I'm gonna make sure she doesn't actually TAKE any of it. :)
I like that. 'The Angel of Vengeance". I liked the voodoo doll aspect to this.
That reminds me of the threat my aunt made to her future son-in-law when he became engaged to her daughter. Except I think the phrase, "...cut your effin throat..." was in there somewhere.
Love the way you end both sections, first with her tucking a handful of Mitchell's hair into her purse and then having the Angel of Vengeance look back at her in the rear view mirror. Brilliantly done! Every Fiona needs a Rosie in their corner if they're crazy enough to go ahead and marry a Mitchell. Loved this.
So, what? No retribution for the pushy sorority sisters or golf club buddies?
Rosie rocks and so do you!
Fantastic story, Icy! The writing sucked me in from the beginning. Great job.
How cool I love your storie xp
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