Friday 2 July 2010
Friday Flash - Unforgettable
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This story is currently down as I have entered it into a competition!
Labels:
creative writing,
flash fiction,
flash friday,
friday flash
Writer of Westerns and supernatural chillers. Keen crafter. Constant super villain.
26 comments:
Beautiful! I could smell the dust...
Wow, such vivid description! Could just see the ballroom and its beauty, dust and all.
Lovely story of ghostly nostalgia!
Thank you! I just thought I hadn't done a descriptive piece for a while. Glad you liked it :-)
Nat King Cole makes the best sales pitches. Whatever he's singing about, I want.
Oh this was luscious. I loved the ghosts. Magnificent.
This is a lovely little piece! I like how the ballroom itself is described as a character. The memory fading back to reality is my favorite part of the story.
I want that house! Lovely story full of enchanting description.
This was a really powerful and engrossing piece. I loved the images you created.
Really beautiful, Icy. Perfect, rich descriptions. I could hear the music, the agent's heels, felt the dust, everything.
I'd take it, too. Just wonderful.
Great written. I like your writing style. It was very clear and concise and i enjoyed reading the entire article.
real estate agents in london
Lifting the dust sheets from her memories - very nice imagery
Marc Nash
Glad everyone liked it. I'd love a ballroom, though preferably one with fewer cobwebs.
Nicely crafted story...your descriptive narrative is kick ass. I love it! I want to go dancing with that ghostly pale man. Romantic and gothic and dramatic all in one.
Soulful, tinged with sadness, and oh so beautifully written.
There is a beautiful other-worldly feel to the story, evoking memories of childhood and memories of an age when manners and chivalry promoted a more civilised age. The description is so evocative and visual. Beautiful.
Adam B
@Maria - He's a gent, isn't he?
@Sam - Sad, yes, but at least the place isn't being gutted so it can be turned into luxury flats.
@Adam - That means a lot to me, coming from you!
Excellent story! Loved the description in it. Easy to see why she was sold on the house.
This is the reason I read. Once in a hundred stories something comes along that is so beautiful, so perfect that it takes me beyond merely the reading of words from a screen. Seriously, this is one of the best tales my eyes have ever danced with on my laptop. Thank you.
Beautiful writing - evocative and dreamy with a hint of the melancholy. Thanks for sharing :)
I am so pleased that people are enjoying this!
Wonderfully descriptive and nostalgic.
That was a real gem, Icy. Lots of memorable, desriptive lines there. These ones really stood out for me:
"The ballroom opens out before me, a cavernous space of silence and memories."
"Dust motes dance where once there was magic."
LOVED IT! This was nostalgic for me but I also read supernatural into it. I could see this as part of a longer piece about a medium or a haunting. Good stuff here.
I'm so glad you liked it. I was tempted to make it longer but I didn't want to spoil it.
Nicely done!
What a beautiful story. Your prose is lyrical, and dreamy and I wish I could say, "I'll take it." to that estate agent. I've always wanted a house with a haunted ballroom.
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