Icy's Blunt Pencil: Friday Flash

Friday, 2 July 2010

Friday Flash - Unforgettable

This story is currently down as I have entered it into a competition!

26 comments:

Laura Eno said...: Beautiful! I could smell the dust...; 2 July 2010 at 01:14
Marisa Birns said...: Wow, such vivid description! Could just see the ballroom and its beauty, dust and all.

Lovely story of ghostly nostalgia!; 2 July 2010 at 01:18
Icy Sedgwick said...: Thank you! I just thought I hadn't done a descriptive piece for a while. Glad you liked it :-); 2 July 2010 at 01:24
John Wiswell said...: Nat King Cole makes the best sales pitches. Whatever he's singing about, I want.; 2 July 2010 at 01:48
Carrie Clevenger said...: Oh this was luscious. I loved the ghosts. Magnificent.; 2 July 2010 at 01:48
Lena S. said...: This is a lovely little piece! I like how the ballroom itself is described as a character. The memory fading back to reality is my favorite part of the story.; 2 July 2010 at 02:47
Unknown said...: I want that house! Lovely story full of enchanting description.; 2 July 2010 at 03:03
Benjamin Solah said...: This was a really powerful and engrossing piece. I loved the images you created.; 2 July 2010 at 04:24
Anonymous said...: Really beautiful, Icy. Perfect, rich descriptions. I could hear the music, the agent's heels, felt the dust, everything.

I'd take it, too. Just wonderful.; 2 July 2010 at 04:28
carols said...: Great written. I like your writing style. It was very clear and concise and i enjoyed reading the entire article.
real estate agents in london; 2 July 2010 at 07:48
Sulci Collective said...: Lifting the dust sheets from her memories - very nice imagery

Marc Nash; 2 July 2010 at 08:49
Icy Sedgwick said...: Glad everyone liked it. I'd love a ballroom, though preferably one with fewer cobwebs.; 2 July 2010 at 09:35
Joz Varlo said...: Nicely crafted story...your descriptive narrative is kick ass. I love it! I want to go dancing with that ghostly pale man. Romantic and gothic and dramatic all in one.; 2 July 2010 at 10:19
Sam said...: Soulful, tinged with sadness, and oh so beautifully written.; 2 July 2010 at 11:12
Anonymous said...: There is a beautiful other-worldly feel to the story, evoking memories of childhood and memories of an age when manners and chivalry promoted a more civilised age. The description is so evocative and visual. Beautiful.
Adam B; 2 July 2010 at 12:21
Icy Sedgwick said...: @Maria - He's a gent, isn't he?

@Sam - Sad, yes, but at least the place isn't being gutted so it can be turned into luxury flats.

@Adam - That means a lot to me, coming from you!; 2 July 2010 at 22:13
Eric J. Krause said...: Excellent story! Loved the description in it. Easy to see why she was sold on the house.; 3 July 2010 at 00:11
Anonymous said...: This is the reason I read. Once in a hundred stories something comes along that is so beautiful, so perfect that it takes me beyond merely the reading of words from a screen. Seriously, this is one of the best tales my eyes have ever danced with on my laptop. Thank you.; 3 July 2010 at 05:46
Anonymous said...: Beautiful writing - evocative and dreamy with a hint of the melancholy. Thanks for sharing :); 3 July 2010 at 15:40
Icy Sedgwick said...: I am so pleased that people are enjoying this!; 3 July 2010 at 19:51
Cat Russell said...: Wonderfully descriptive and nostalgic.; 4 July 2010 at 03:10
Alan W. Davidson said...: That was a real gem, Icy. Lots of memorable, desriptive lines there. These ones really stood out for me:

"The ballroom opens out before me, a cavernous space of silence and memories."

"Dust motes dance where once there was magic."; 4 July 2010 at 22:26
Genevieve Jack said...: LOVED IT! This was nostalgic for me but I also read supernatural into it. I could see this as part of a longer piece about a medium or a haunting. Good stuff here.; 6 July 2010 at 02:35
Icy Sedgwick said...: I'm so glad you liked it. I was tempted to make it longer but I didn't want to spoil it.; 6 July 2010 at 09:13
T.J. McIntyre said...: Nicely done!; 9 July 2010 at 01:45
Pamila Payne said...: What a beautiful story. Your prose is lyrical, and dreamy and I wish I could say, "I'll take it." to that estate agent. I've always wanted a house with a haunted ballroom.; 11 July 2010 at 01:21