Icy's Blunt Pencil: Friday Flash

Friday, 11 June 2010

Friday Flash - Harbingers

This flash has been taken down while it's out for submission - wish me luck!

29 comments:

Sulci Collective said...: "My mother put it down to latent morbidity, reminding me of my teenage Goth phase and preference for crime novels" - I roared out loud at this - Parents eh? Gotta love their take on their children!

Nice stuff indeed.

marc nash; 11 June 2010 at 08:54
Icy Sedgwick said...: I'm glad you like it! And yes, parents often do look at the strangest evidence for the behaviour of their children.; 11 June 2010 at 09:04
Sam said...: Fantastic! Really puts me in mind of "The Gathering" experienced when a relative died last year - for the last few days of her life she said some of her close relatives (all long passed themselves) were with her and had come to guide her over.

Your piece made me shiver.; 11 June 2010 at 09:19
Icy Sedgwick said...: It was all inspired by the fact that I saw something white in the mud by one of the London wharves when I was on the train the other day - on reflection, it was probably a carrier bag. I've certainly not seen anything else since!; 11 June 2010 at 09:24
Anonymous said...: *and the crowd applauds wildly* This had a great twist at the end. The description is so apt: focused and direct, hinting at the sinister and never revealing. A good read.
Blessings
Adam B; 11 June 2010 at 12:33
Icy Sedgwick said...: Aw, I'm glad you liked it, Adam. I love your work so it means a lot when you enjoy mine!; 11 June 2010 at 12:38
Laura Eno said...: Excellent! I loved the journey you took. The ending rocked!; 11 June 2010 at 16:58
Icy Sedgwick said...: Thank you, Laura! It's weird being in my own head sometimes.; 11 June 2010 at 17:06
Marisa Birns said...: Brilliant...and scary! She must have looked really smashed after being hit by 2288 lbs of steel. But the others in her group don't look so great themselves! :)

Um. You say you saw something white in the mud? A carrier bag?

*whistles and walks away*; 11 June 2010 at 17:07
Anonymous said...: Wow, great chilling story. They tried to tell her...

Loved this one.; 11 June 2010 at 17:09
Icy Sedgwick said...: I had to Google how much a Peugeot 206 weighs!

I *hope* it was a carrier bag...; 11 June 2010 at 17:09
Monica Marier said...: Well done! It started out morbid, got really scary, but the calm acceptance at the end was oddly comforting. Death was just another stage of the human experience.

Well crafted and brilliantly written. I enjoyed this a lot.; 11 June 2010 at 17:16
Icy Sedgwick said...: I'm really glad you liked it!; 11 June 2010 at 17:19
mazzz_in_Leeds said...: Oooh, very good! Perfect ending, as Monica says the calm acceptance is comforting; 11 June 2010 at 17:21
Michael Solender said...: nice and creepy this. great imagination and fine prose to go with it.; 11 June 2010 at 17:29
PJ said...: Icy - I had an inkling how this one would turn out ... but i enjoyed it immensely anyway! I knew because I did a similar story awhile back "Friending the Dead" (you are of course under absolutely no obligation to read but in case u r interested: http://inspiredbyreallife.com/?p=400) ... similar yet very different of course. Funny how these things happen in three's ;-) I hope you don't see any more carrier bags...!; 11 June 2010 at 18:36
Alan W. Davidson said...: What a chilling ghost story. I liked how the corpses all tied in together at the end. Well done!; 11 June 2010 at 21:12
Icy Sedgwick said...: @Maz - I sort of think that once you've died, you WOULD be calm. I mean, you can't very well do anything about it (or can you....? Another story for another time)

@Michael - It's been a while since I wrote any horror, so I thought I'd give it a go again.

@PJ - Yes, I shall be ignoring all carrier bags from now on! And gosh, your story really puts a new spin on Facebook!

@Alan - I'm glad you liked it!; 11 June 2010 at 23:38
Tony Noland said...: A creepy, scary tale, but I have to say, having one's mother dismiss you because of "that phase" you went through in high school... shiver!; 12 June 2010 at 03:39
Icy Sedgwick said...: Thank you, Tony - would you say it's creepier because of the useless mother, or in spite of it?; 12 June 2010 at 09:44
Anonymous said...: I like that. I think the 'ordinary' stuff thrown in around the fear works really well.; 12 June 2010 at 09:52
Icy Sedgwick said...: Why thank you, Fee!; 12 June 2010 at 10:22
Virginia Moffatt said...: This is great Icy. Really well paced and built up to a satisfying conclusion that I didn't see coming till the very last minute.; 12 June 2010 at 10:59
Icy Sedgwick said...: Thank you!; 12 June 2010 at 11:10
Eric J. Krause said...: Very cool story! Great journey, and the ending really paid off.; 15 June 2010 at 15:57
kathrynjankowski said...: Gave me goose bumps. Good job, Icy!
;-); 15 June 2010 at 23:07
Icy Sedgwick said...: Thank you! Glad you liked it.; 15 June 2010 at 23:10
Laurita said...: Very creepy tale, and so well written. I could completely get on board with the overactive imagination - been there myself. Too bad that wasn't the case, for her sake.; 16 June 2010 at 13:20
Icy Sedgwick said...: I guess I decided to torment her out of relief that didn't happen to me!; 16 June 2010 at 13:21