Friday 30 April 2010

Fiction Friday #8

Here's my attempt for this week's Fiction Friday challenge on the Write Anything blog, also submitted to the Friday Flash collection. The prompt was;

“My husband doesn’t know, but he will soon.

Maddie lay on the couch by the window. One hand clutched a mug of cocoa, while the other curled around the swell of her stomach. Simone perched on the edge of the coffee table beside her.

"You're so brave, dear. Pregnancy really takes a lot out of you," she said.

She leaned forward, patting Maddie's hand. Maddie felt patronised, but forced a smile for Simone's sake.

"Women have been having babies for millenia. I'm nothing special," she replied. She shrugged.

"Oh but you are! Not every woman finds herself in your position. You're special, and very, very lucky." Simone raised her mug toward Maddie, as if toasting her.

"I suppose..." Maddie wrinkled her nose. The baby kicked; for a second, she feared it could read her mind. Would it punish her? She stroked her bump in the hope that it would calm the baby.

"If it were me, I'd feel honoured. But of course, I couldn't provide the right service," replied Simone with a sigh. She gestured at her stomach, as if Maddie could see the barren womb inside. Maddie pasted what she hoped was a sympathetic expression on her face.

"Have you told anyone else but me?" asked Simone, rushing to fill the awkward silence.

"My husband doesn't know, but he will soon," replied Maddie. "Then again, if your priest is right, then everyone will know soon."

"This is true. Armageddon is likely to cause a bit of a stir!" Simone smiled, but malice filled her brown eyes.
Maddie laughed, a weak laugh full of fear. She hugged her bump, and hoped that the growing antichrist in her belly might prefer collecting stamps to unleashing hell.


Marisa Birns said...

I looked at the prompt that inspired you and could not think of how you were going to go.

So. You went the writing-intriguing-and-well way!

Really enjoyed this, and did laugh at the last sentence. (hope that doesn't offend the bundle of...well, you know)

Anonymous said...

Great as usual my dear.

Shelli said...

I got a good feel for your character's voice here. The twist at the end took me completely off guard. Nice bit of humor, too. It's a good hook, and I'd be interested in reading more.

Anonymous said...

Mwhahahahaha. Loved it. In the words of Russell Crowe, "At my signal, unleash hell."
Gave me a good chuckle.

Sam said...

Thoroughly enjoyed this! Lovely twist at the end, and that line, "...and hoped that the growing antichrist in her belly might prefer collecting stamps to unleashing hell," made me laugh out loud.

Icy Sedgwick said...

Thanks people! Just hope I didn't offend any stamp collecting Satanists out there.

Laura Eno said...

Somehow, I think he'll find collecting stamps somewhat boring... ;)

Awesome twist to this!

Anonymous said...

Great twist! And very well written. The last line was just killer.

So Armageddon will come through the Post Office. Figures. :)

Loved it.

Susan Cross said...

Who knows? Maybe the antichrist will enjoy both. Beware the snail mail.

Tomara Armstrong said...

HA! The last line is perfect. Great post!

Eric J. Krause said...

Yeah, I hope for all our sakes the antichrist prefers collecting stamps. Good story!

Weezel said...

I liked this concept! Well written!

Walt said...

I enjoyed the piece and the ending made me laugh. When I saw the prompt, the first thing that passed through my mind was something regarding pregnancy. That was followed by infidelity.

You took what I expected to be a common topic and put a unique twist on it that was very enjoyable.

Jen said...

I love the twist. Such a placid, motherly scene to begin the end of the world. Very nice. :)

Icy Sedgwick said...

I was originally considering making Maddie excited about the forthcoming pregnancy, but then I thought "Hang on, I wouldn't be too chuffed about it, and I'd find it especially difficult to explain to my husband!"

Unknown said...

Very chilling. I shudder to think how it's going to turn out. Good story!

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