Thursday 19 May 2011

It's the End of the World (as we know it)

The Internet is abuzz with "Is the world going to end on Saturday?" I, for one, hope very much that it doesn't. Firstly, because I don't like it when crackpot predictions turn out to be right (though I suspect their period of gloating would be short-lived) and secondly, I think it would be a bit of a shame. I mean, the big predictions made by scientists say that the world will indeed end at some point, although that "point" is generally hundreds, if not thousands, of years away. I don't know about you, but I can live with that.

Thankfully, we've had more of these "predictions" than you can shake a stick at, and as I'm still here to belittle them, it's quite clear that they were all complete tosh. Even Nostradamus got it wrong most of the time, and the times when he was "right", it was only realised that he'd been right after the fact. I can't help thinking that a prediction that is only useful after the event has passed is like a broken pencil. Pointless.

Anyway, if by some mad quirk the world does end within the next few days, here are seven things that I will regret not having done.

1) I never found, used, and thus became obsessed by, the One Ring.
2) I didn't learn to master the use of the Force.
3) I never discovered the secret of alchemy.
4) I didn't manage to start my PhD, let alone finish it.
5) I never got to wreak revenge on Hollywood for the absolute betrayal that was Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
6) I didn't get to the age of 34, thus beating Jesus.
7) I never stuck a "press" card in the band of my trilby and tried to sneak backstage at an important event.

What about you? What do you wish you had done?

Tiny plug for my book - if you're interested in my vision of the Apocalypse, then please see the story Checkmate in my short story collection, Checkmate & Other Stories, available from Smashwords and Amazon for just 99c.


Tony Noland said...

I wish I'd learned to ride a horse. Always meant to do that.

John Wiswell said...

Maybe I have issues, or maybe I have too much of a sense of perspective - but if the world ended Saturday, I don't think I'd have any regrets or wish to do any more, not even finish this novel I've been pouring my heart into. The world's ending. Whether or not I ate another doughnut on Tuesday or added two thousand more words to a fight scene is almost inconsequential and selfish. Plus... I dunno. I take a lot of things as they come. Maybe I'll change my mind when burning angels plunge from the still sky.

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