Friday, 14 January 2011

Friday Flash - The Body Of Your Dreams

Victor stares at the screen in disbelief. The credits roll past in chunky white type as an electronic soundtrack thuds in the background. Was that it? he thinks. Did I really just waste £16 on that?

He picks up the DVD case. A smiling woman with a toned stomach and gleaming teeth beams at him from the cover. She doesn’t look like any medical practitioner Victor has ever seen. He flips to the back of the case to read her bio. It lists qualifications he's never heard of, and claims she studied biology at a city college in Nevada.

Victor turns back to the cover. There it is, a strapline in white Comic Sans, promising that the DVD will help him to "create the body of his dreams".  He glances between the DVD and the anatomical text book lying open on the floor. Am I missing something? he thinks. Victor casts a longing look at the surgical table and box of tools behind him, and sighs.

There’s just no way Victor can make a monster by doing squats and sit ups.

25 comments:

Rachel Blackbirdsong said...

HA! Poor Victor. It was so much easier for his great-grandfather (if you're alluding to Victor Frankenstein) when all you had to do was steal the body of a hanging corpse or rob a grave. Love this!

Sam said...

Hahaha! Brilliant! I absolutely love your last line, I can almost imagine the look on Victor's face.

John Wiswell said...

Should have waited for the BluRay. It comes with all the extras that makes building something out of these parts worthwhile. Of course Victor doesn't know about that - poor guy has the unfortunate case of being on the edge of technology.

Icy Sedgwick said...

Rachel - Yep, you got the allusion!

Sam - I should know, I've tried.

John - I'll be first in line for THAT release!

laradunning said...

Guess he'd better sell that on ebay and buy the one he really wants, although I'm not sure they have a how to make a monster video. Funny flash.

John McDonnell said...

Love it! We all want the Body of Our Dreams, but Victor has rather a different take on that. Good job!

Gracie said...

You made me laugh right out loud. Hilarious. Those videos don't give ANYONE the body of their dreams, much less an evil genius.

Yeah, no shortcuts (ahem) for poor Victor.

Completely love this one!

Leslie R. Lee said...

Great flash

Patti Larsen said...

You rock, Icy--great story--I didn't know where you were going but you delivered! Nice!

Steve Green said...

Oh poor misguided Victor, I think he needs more research. Thanks for the chuckle Icy. :D

Raven Corinn Carluk said...

Fantastic. Another great punchline.

Icy Sedgwick said...

Lara - Yeah, I think Victor was really a victim of marketing...

John - Yeah, he took it FAR too literally!

Grace - Victor will just have to keep looking for his inspiration!

Leslie - Thanks!

Patti - I aim to please!

Steve - I'm glad I made you laugh.

ganymeder said...

LOL, Oh you got to love how literal he is... :D

Valerie said...

As they say in the parlance of the Ebay, A++, would read again.

AidanF said...

Cute. I'm glad a good mind and a pencil is all that's needed for creating wondrous creatures. Working out to create each monster would be too much work. Liked the subtle allusions in this piece.

daniellelapaglia said...

Ha! I love it, Icy. Poor Victor was duped!

Icy Sedgwick said...

Catherine - Yes, he doesn't stop to think!

Valerie - Glad you liked it!

Aidan - Well I've done my fair share of squats and situps, and have yet to create anything even remotely close to a monster!

Danni - Yeah, Victor's really letting the family down!

Cathy Webster (Olliffe) said...

And Comic Sans? Seriously, one of the tackiest fonts ever! That should have been Vic's first clue that the contents of the DVD weren't medical-grade. Now, if the words were in Bodoni, maybe he would have had something he could use...

Virginia Moffatt said...

How funny. I loved this updating of Frankenstein! Brilliant.

Jason Warden said...

This new generation, just a bunch of slackers. Love it, very well crafted story!

Maria A. Kelly said...

I love it! Monstrously (tee hee) funny revisiting of Frankenstein. Funny, but after one or two crunches and I really DO become a monster. Nice micro, Icy!

Eric J. Krause said...

Ha! Good one! I guess it's all a matter of perspective on what a dream body is...

Stephen said...

Laughing out here tonight on this side of the pond. The English language often leads to misinterpretations like this. Better luck next time, Mr. Frankenstein.

julito77 said...

Late gothic but so glad I finally showed up. The play on words at the end is brilliant. A perfect Flash. Brilliant.

julito77 said...

And I can't stand auto correct on my IPad. "late gothic" should be "late to game"!!!

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