Friday, 18 June 2010

Friday Flash - The Key

A draught blows into the room, teasing the flames. The candles flicker, making shadows dance across the walls. The frenzy of their cavorting echoes her tumultous thoughts. Candlelight seemed so ostentatious a choice, but she remains resolute. An occasion as important as this demands no less.

The light seeks the thick chain twisted in a loop around her neck. The dark metal ignores the caress of the candlelight. Specks of rust flake away as she moves. A heavy key hangs from the chain, dull from disuse. She bites her lip, toying with the key. It is rough and cold beneath her fingers. She is unsure; many years have passed since she last gave it up. She feels uncertain about doing so now.

She turns to face him. He sits on the edge of her bed. His tousled black curls frame his earnest face. Hope fills his green eyes, and she basks in the warmth of his love. Her doubts melt away, and she lifts the chain over her head. She takes his hand, and presses the key to his palm. His fingers close around the ancient metal, and she sighs.

She has given him the key to the Pandora's Box that is her heart.

21 comments:

Sophie said...

That's awesome. And probably reflective of the inside of a lot of girls' heads.

Donald Conrad said...

He has no idea the weight of that key. Wonderful allegory here.

Icy Sedgwick said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Laura Eno said...

The last line is so open to possibilities, responsibilities, catastrophies...

Beautifully written!

Sam said...

Wow! Simply wow!

afullnessinbrevity said...

This is well wicked. So very touching in its intimacy.
Adam B

Icy Sedgwick said...

It's possibly a bit more personal than I'd normally go but I needed to write this. I just hope he realises what a major thing this was for me to do this.

John Wiswell said...

I hope so too, Icy. Seems like everybody's been hurt by somebody who got a copy of that key, but life's more worth living if you still want to hand it out.

Icy Sedgwick said...

Yeah...you can keep knocking me down, but I will keep getting back up again.

PJ said...

Oh, Icy - this is excellent! The imagery is very nice! One small edit - you might want to change "Their frenzy of their cavorting" because of the repeated "their".

Marisa Birns said...

So hard to give up that key again! But, as you so poetically show here, the hope in his eyes and warmth in his love can mean that it will be all right this time.

Opening the Pandora box of the heart is just beautiful presentation!

Icy Sedgwick said...

@PJ - You're right, I used 'their' instead of 'the'. Changed now!

@Marisa - I hope it'll be okay this time!

Pamila Payne said...

Sometimes the most personal piece ends up being almost archetypal when it comes out clean and real. Beautiful, and just enough.

Karen from Mentor said...

It's scary enough to give your heart. Declaring it in public is stunningly brave.
As for the work:
I especially liked this line:

"The dark metal ignores the caress of the candlelight"

Lovely pace, great use of sensual imagery. Thanks for sharing.
:0)

Icy Sedgwick said...

Yes, it could be either very brave or very stupid to do this so publicly, but due to the nature of the "lucky" gent, I'm sure it'll be fine. I should really have dedicated this to Jimmy Misanthrope when I posted it, but I wanted him to read it first!

I'm glad it's been so well-received though. ^_^

David Masters said...

So it's not really fiction? More flash nonfiction?

I love the idea of the heart as a Pandora's Box - full of all the bad things of the world, and hope.

Icy Sedgwick said...

Well it's still fiction, just inspired by real events...very difficult to describe! But glad you stopped by :-)

Eric J. Krause said...

Very well written. Loved the last line. Great story!

Gracie said...

A perfect tiny piece that says so much. I applaud your courage and wish you well!

And the imagery is superb. I love the use of the candlelight and her misgivings about it. Very rich.

Beautiful story, Icy.

Icy Sedgwick said...

Aww, thank you Gracie!

Laurita said...

It's a frightening thing to pass over that key. Perhaps more frightening than what lies inside that pandora's box. Well written piece, Icy. Poetic, yet raw and real.

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