Friday, 2 July 2010

Friday Flash - Unforgettable

This story is currently down as I have entered it into a competition!

26 comments:

  1. Beautiful! I could smell the dust...

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  2. Wow, such vivid description! Could just see the ballroom and its beauty, dust and all.

    Lovely story of ghostly nostalgia!

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  3. Thank you! I just thought I hadn't done a descriptive piece for a while. Glad you liked it :-)

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  4. Nat King Cole makes the best sales pitches. Whatever he's singing about, I want.

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  5. Oh this was luscious. I loved the ghosts. Magnificent.

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  6. This is a lovely little piece! I like how the ballroom itself is described as a character. The memory fading back to reality is my favorite part of the story.

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  7. I want that house! Lovely story full of enchanting description.

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  8. This was a really powerful and engrossing piece. I loved the images you created.

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  9. Really beautiful, Icy. Perfect, rich descriptions. I could hear the music, the agent's heels, felt the dust, everything.

    I'd take it, too. Just wonderful.

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  10. Great written. I like your writing style. It was very clear and concise and i enjoyed reading the entire article.
    real estate agents in london

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  11. Lifting the dust sheets from her memories - very nice imagery

    Marc Nash

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  12. Glad everyone liked it. I'd love a ballroom, though preferably one with fewer cobwebs.

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  13. Nicely crafted story...your descriptive narrative is kick ass. I love it! I want to go dancing with that ghostly pale man. Romantic and gothic and dramatic all in one.

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  14. Soulful, tinged with sadness, and oh so beautifully written.

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  15. There is a beautiful other-worldly feel to the story, evoking memories of childhood and memories of an age when manners and chivalry promoted a more civilised age. The description is so evocative and visual. Beautiful.
    Adam B

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  16. @Maria - He's a gent, isn't he?

    @Sam - Sad, yes, but at least the place isn't being gutted so it can be turned into luxury flats.

    @Adam - That means a lot to me, coming from you!

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  17. Excellent story! Loved the description in it. Easy to see why she was sold on the house.

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  18. This is the reason I read. Once in a hundred stories something comes along that is so beautiful, so perfect that it takes me beyond merely the reading of words from a screen. Seriously, this is one of the best tales my eyes have ever danced with on my laptop. Thank you.

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  19. Beautiful writing - evocative and dreamy with a hint of the melancholy. Thanks for sharing :)

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  20. I am so pleased that people are enjoying this!

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  21. Wonderfully descriptive and nostalgic.

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  22. That was a real gem, Icy. Lots of memorable, desriptive lines there. These ones really stood out for me:

    "The ballroom opens out before me, a cavernous space of silence and memories."

    "Dust motes dance where once there was magic."

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  23. LOVED IT! This was nostalgic for me but I also read supernatural into it. I could see this as part of a longer piece about a medium or a haunting. Good stuff here.

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  24. I'm so glad you liked it. I was tempted to make it longer but I didn't want to spoil it.

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  25. What a beautiful story. Your prose is lyrical, and dreamy and I wish I could say, "I'll take it." to that estate agent. I've always wanted a house with a haunted ballroom.

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