tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396788184066846681.post3452916297070192581..comments2023-06-12T13:43:01.685+01:00Comments on Icy's Blunt Pencil: Friday Flash - ManeaterIcy Sedgwickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11501193571425442406noreply@blogger.comBlogger39125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396788184066846681.post-70284885345213721712011-02-11T01:10:53.541+00:002011-02-11T01:10:53.541+00:00Icy, this is truly masterful. I love how you don&#...Icy, this is truly masterful. I love how you don't reveal much about the narrator, but everything she sees is described to pure perfection. I especially loved these lines, "She's boxed in by short balding men wearing business suits a size too small, their puffy fingers suffocated by cheap wedding bands. They're like oversized sacks of blood carrying briefcases."Rachel Blackbirdsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02246966713076881105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396788184066846681.post-63086355890854406592011-02-09T02:38:06.803+00:002011-02-09T02:38:06.803+00:00Loved how perceptive she was about those around he...Loved how perceptive she was about those around her and the decoy man hunter. The paranormal twist at the end was fabulous. I agree with Emma, nice and tight. Well done.Genevieve Jackhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16178276724159826428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396788184066846681.post-12329428826311306762011-02-08T13:08:13.270+00:002011-02-08T13:08:13.270+00:00Oh yeah, that was good! Nice and tight, brilliant ...Oh yeah, that was good! Nice and tight, brilliant details picked out, I enjoyed it a lot.Emma Newmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04638998090505031226noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396788184066846681.post-65202298721852968262011-02-08T06:53:20.221+00:002011-02-08T06:53:20.221+00:00And I was watching the wrong maneater the whole ti...And I was watching the wrong maneater the whole time! This was so wonderfully descriptive, Icy. Well done.Jaxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00194706618184875916noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396788184066846681.post-24500699403965713292011-02-07T16:05:05.141+00:002011-02-07T16:05:05.141+00:00I loved all the imaginative little details you gav...I loved all the imaginative little details you gave, coming from the mind of a snooty shape-shifter!Laura Enohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09982794146667832204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396788184066846681.post-75210598758709928312011-02-07T00:48:55.046+00:002011-02-07T00:48:55.046+00:00I love this, Icy. The descriptions are fabulous an...I love this, Icy. The descriptions are fabulous and I'm a sucker for alien shape-shifter stories! Nicely told!Joz Varlohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12750541029227514781noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396788184066846681.post-75451048769038225012011-02-06T22:59:46.201+00:002011-02-06T22:59:46.201+00:00Icy this is great - I especially love the line &qu...Icy this is great - I especially love the line "I get a mental image of a leech holding an iPhone and resist the urge to giggle."<br />I've seen woman on the wedding ring hunt too, its very sad and dare I say desperate.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396788184066846681.post-63100404635526294522011-02-06T21:02:53.866+00:002011-02-06T21:02:53.866+00:00Seems to me Ms Fake Laboutin and the narrator migh...Seems to me Ms Fake Laboutin and the narrator might enjoy a little sit down over blood red lattes. Maybe they'll reconnect at some point. Really like your descriptions in this one, and way the flow of the narrative echos and suggests the busy-ness of the crowd on the train.Mike Robertsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09067537471948526219noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396788184066846681.post-51155729744306656022011-02-06T16:36:02.278+00:002011-02-06T16:36:02.278+00:00Clever, leading us on to believe Ms. Single-man-st...Clever, leading us on to believe Ms. Single-man-stalker was the Maneater from the title. A mere line and a half at the end and the story turns on its head. Soon as it does, previous lines twist to produce layers of meaning. Thanks, I enjoyed it.<br /><br />Take care,<br />JessAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396788184066846681.post-5889358083107191392011-02-06T16:28:51.638+00:002011-02-06T16:28:51.638+00:00A really nice twist on the concept of Maneater. Yo...A really nice twist on the concept of Maneater. You set up very clever blind that draws our attention to Mr. Cute and Ms. Fake Chanel. Beautifully crafted, love. <3Monica Marierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03112762564137354581noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396788184066846681.post-91442882697128019422011-02-06T01:57:50.019+00:002011-02-06T01:57:50.019+00:00Ooh, I really liked this one. And here I thought M...Ooh, I really liked this one. And here I thought Ms. Fake Chanel was the only man-eater on board. Great job, Icy.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396788184066846681.post-78460322360282718332011-02-06T00:35:28.820+00:002011-02-06T00:35:28.820+00:00A very nice tale! Or perhaps I should call it cree...A very nice tale! Or perhaps I should call it creepy. :)<br /><br />I loved the tone of the MC and the way the story slowly turned back to her and what she was doing.Chuck Allenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14094196458632858993noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396788184066846681.post-11896976326829209462011-02-05T21:46:44.196+00:002011-02-05T21:46:44.196+00:00It takes one to know one. I love the ending. So, h...It takes one to know one. I love the ending. So, how many maneaters are out there? They're around us everywhere, I'm guessing. We just don't know how to spot them.Stephenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04753736809917062955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396788184066846681.post-4096873805611621402011-02-05T20:48:37.647+00:002011-02-05T20:48:37.647+00:00I loved your layering of the two predators at work...I loved your layering of the two predators at work.Tony Nolandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15090583562737225942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396788184066846681.post-26070852081627282322011-02-05T17:54:41.639+00:002011-02-05T17:54:41.639+00:00Very nice, Icy - love the bait and switch. Terrif...Very nice, Icy - love the bait and switch. Terrific description throughout :-)PJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07521953491880916840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396788184066846681.post-67198694716340286372011-02-05T17:02:14.282+00:002011-02-05T17:02:14.282+00:00Wonderful style. Tight writing with just enough de...Wonderful style. Tight writing with just enough details to let us figure things out for ourselves. Loved it!Cat Russellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14160039271069426174noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396788184066846681.post-28127506506596002282011-02-05T16:19:58.620+00:002011-02-05T16:19:58.620+00:00Neat ending. I like the way you build up the detai...Neat ending. I like the way you build up the detail of the Amazonian woman, and then twist it at the end. Very enjoyable.Virginia Moffatthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12071059148315715405noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396788184066846681.post-4770105618812139062011-02-05T13:00:12.485+00:002011-02-05T13:00:12.485+00:00Chloe - I've actually watched a woman scope fo...Chloe - I've actually watched a woman scope for wedding rings before. It's pathetic.<br /><br />Adam - All observations made in the field, sah!<br /><br />Carrie - I don't normally use them but I thought I'd give it a go!<br /><br />FAR - Glad you liked it!<br /><br />Laurita - Thanks<br /><br />Ibc4 - Yeah, I think I might have accidentally channelled my inner Bateman. Worrying.<br /><br />Eric - It's all in the sleight of hand.<br /><br />Magaly - I normally don't like using brand names because I think it can "date" a piece but I wanted my maneater to be a bit of a snob!<br /><br />John - Yes but they always want to be first off at their stop....at the end of the line. Personally, I move down inside the carriage so I can nab the first seat that becomes available, but then I have sense.<br /><br />Deanna, Grace, Lara and Harry - Thank you!<br /><br />Jim - Hadn't written anything "horror" in a while and I was getting itchy fingers.<br /><br />Steve - Two very different kinds of hunter, yes!<br /><br />Mari - Yeah, I had to drop that in to foreshadow the end!<br /><br />Michael - An eBay dress CAN be designer, but generally the people who have the money to buy designer buy it from source. Of course, you can always get designer from other places but snobs don't care about things like that.<br /><br />Jason - Haha, yes, she's going to get nowhere with him, is she?<br /><br />Tim - I often think "I don't understand these humans" during rush hour.<br /><br />Raven - Thank you, glad you enjoyed it (and could finally comment)<br /><br />Sam - I haven't actually decided what she is!Icy Sedgwickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11501193571425442406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396788184066846681.post-29050826545761985922011-02-05T12:17:06.660+00:002011-02-05T12:17:06.660+00:00This is wonderful! I read it yesterday but didn&#...This is wonderful! I read it yesterday but didn't have an opportunity to comment until now - it is still as vivid in my memory now as it was then, a definite sign of a great story.<br /><br />I love the premise and the misdirection of the POV. Personally, I'd like to read a sequel to this one, or at least another story featuring your MC, which may give a clue to what sort of entity she is.Samhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00361651251233078437noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396788184066846681.post-72615938431276171192011-02-05T09:00:55.392+00:002011-02-05T09:00:55.392+00:00Yay, I can post now. When I tried last night, just...Yay, I can post now. When I tried last night, just wouldn't work.<br /><br />Killer piece. Love the end, and how the focus was all on the other woman.Raven Corinn Carlukhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06014248975870886289noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396788184066846681.post-31265272419545142302011-02-05T06:44:27.472+00:002011-02-05T06:44:27.472+00:00I'll never understand humans either. But I hav...I'll never understand humans either. But I have to agree, they can be mighty tasty!~Timhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06774944172261988587noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396788184066846681.post-52922643154977066682011-02-05T02:45:56.623+00:002011-02-05T02:45:56.623+00:00She's bitten off more than she can chew if she...She's bitten off more than she can chew if she thinks she can mess with a disciple of Spider Jerusalem!Jason Cogginshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09509338964933754054noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396788184066846681.post-91352361153645370582011-02-05T02:14:22.404+00:002011-02-05T02:14:22.404+00:00I found myself pretty confused at all the name-bra...I found myself pretty confused at all the name-brands, and I kept thinking why can't an e-bay dress be designer?<br /><br />Anyways I really loved the voice you used. I think it's pretty easy to write with contempt, but hard to do it well. Icy, you've done it well.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16518183823230864763noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396788184066846681.post-88360530422639324632011-02-04T23:33:37.127+00:002011-02-04T23:33:37.127+00:00At first I thought it was a middle-aged lesbian ob...At first I thought it was a middle-aged lesbian observing people in the subway, but at the mention of "humans" near the end... Very nice! :)Marihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07303695124956391293noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396788184066846681.post-23266432992465777052011-02-04T23:05:22.041+00:002011-02-04T23:05:22.041+00:00Two hunters in the same cattle car? No problem, th...Two hunters in the same cattle car? No problem, there is plenty of meat to go round. Good story Icy.Steve Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18414279461366098783noreply@blogger.com